Fashion• Life

Life Update: Transitioning and Trying

Since I’ve been back from my trip for almost a month, I figured it was time for another life update. A lot has happened since my last one where I was working two jobs and saving up for my trip. In fact, I’ve been at pretty much the opposite stage now — broke, jobless, and apartmentless.

But before I drag you into a deep pit of despair, know this: I got a job. And, I got a room. Not quite yet an apartment of my own again, but a place downtown that I can crash at until I find one. It isn’t ideal, but it works.

Truth be told, when I say ‘it isn’t ideal’ I sound like a brat. There are WAY worse problems in the world than to be sharing a gorgeous, spacious, two-bedroom apartment with another person (who, by the way, graciously let me have the master bedroom). I have a huge ensuite bathroom that’s the same size as a room I used to rent in Yaletown, and it costs less than having my own place for now, which is great. I have a lot to save up again to be back where I was before my trip, so I’m starting now. I miss my financial independence, y’all.

I’m moving into my room a little later this week, and starting my new full-time job on Friday. It isn’t following the same career path that I’ve been on so far so I won’t dig into the details, but it will absolutely keep me busy, has some really rewarding benefits to it, and should be super interesting. Honestly, I’ve been a bit nervous about starting work again (especially something that I’ve never done before) and I feel a bit of anxiety around it, but I’ve been trying to stay positive and keep an open mind. If I absolutely hate it, I can quit (another benefit of renting month-to-month for now). And who knows? I might actually love it.

I’ve been reading a book lately titled ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck‘ and I encourage you to read it, if you haven’t already. The author may sound like a bit of an asshole at times, but he’s actually on to some pretty good stuff. Spoiler alert: the magic isn’t in not giving any fucks at all (pardon the language, but roll with me here) but rather, carefully choosing the things you do give a fuck about.

Here’s an excerpt from the book (written by Mark Manson) that I’d like to share with you.

____

“If I ask you, ‘What do you want out of life?’ and you say something like, ‘I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,’ your response is so common and expected that it actually doesn’t mean anything.’

Everybody enjoys what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy, and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when they walk into the room.

Everybody wants that. It’s easy to want that.

A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider is, ‘What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?’ Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.”
____

I’m going to give you a moment to let that sink in, because Mark has a really damn good point here. Struggles are inevitable, so we might as well choose the ones that are worth giving a fuck about. I feel like a part of this echoes my blog post on relationships, because for some of us, struggling in the right relationship is worth it.

All in all, I’ve been seeing things a little more positively lately. I’m trying to not give fucks about things I have no control over, and to give myself some space to figure out the rest. I’m the kind of person who often likes to have all the answers, and that’s caused some problems for me in the past. Hopefully with this bit of work on myself, I can overcome that and get my life back on track.

All image credit goes to the beautiful Shamayne Zindoga.