A few weeks ago I turned 28, which means that it’s been about six months since the last time I posted and 10 years since I left home to begin my adult life. I get it – 28 isn’t as big a milestone as 19, 30 or 50, but a lot has happened in this past year and I feel that I’ve learned a lot even in these past few months. More than that, I actually put a lot of what I learned into action and am in a much better place as a result.
So why not spread the love and share a little of what I’ve learned? If you’re interested (read: care whatsoever), then who knows – you might just find something useful. Here’s 28 life lessons I learned by twenty eight:
- Stand up for your values, regardless of how it makes you look.
If I could tell you the number of times I’ve seen people completely change their values and opinions simply because someone else was in the room, I’d be rich. Be you. Do you. I promise that people will only respect you more for it. - Family is everything; be proud of where you come from.
You don’t have to watch mafia movies to know this one, but I think we’ve all had moments where we felt embarrassed by our family or where we come from. Honestly? Life is too short and family is too important. Don’t waste any more time letting others make you feel otherwise. - If you think the dress is too short, it probably is.
If only I could tell myself this when I was 19. Oh well, live and learn. - Be choosy, not cheap.
If you’re like me and not exactly rolling in disposable income, this works in all aspects of life and leaves a much better impression. Eat at restaurants less often so you can tip more, invest in quality clothing over mass amounts of fast fashion and schedule less into your calendar so you can put your time where (and with who) it really matters. - Pick and choose your battles.
Sometimes, people will turn off and not even listen or consider your words. Know when to take a step back and find reassurance in the fact that you spoke your truth, regardless of how it played out. It’s easier said than done, but I promise it’s worthwhile. - Nothing good ever comes from a drunk text.
They say nothing good happens after 2am, but for me that hasn’t always been true. What has, is that drunk texting is a bad idea. Every. Single. Time. - Mental health issues are common. Don’t be afraid to talk about it.
I’ve had my fair share of anxiety and depression, and I’m one of literally millions. Don’t be afraid to open up, talk about it, and share your struggles. The more communication we create, the less of a stigma there will be. Plus, I’m doing a hell of a lot better since addressing it. - Be vulnerable. Risk = the greatest reward.
This one is huge, especially for dating. So many people out there play games as a way to protect themselves, and hell, even I’ve been guilty of playing along. The thing is, the more open and vulnerable you are, the better your chances of someone actually getting to know you – and liking the unique individual they see. - You don’t need everyone to like you.
To be clear, not everyone is going to like you. That’s okay. Try not to overanalyze about whether it was something you did, because if it was then that person just wasn’t the right one for you anyways. When you meet the right person, you’ll be able to be truly and freely yourself, without feeling worried about messing up or doing the wrong thing. - You can use an earring in place of floss in a sticky situation.
Say what you will, but having something stuck in your teeth when there’s no floss in sight is awful. Life hack: you can use the back of your earring. Yeah yeah, it’s gross, whatever. - Assumption is the thief of possibility.
I’ve always liked the quote ‘comparison is the thief of joy’, and I think this works in a similar way. When we make assumptions about things, we often don’t try to find out if that’s really the case. Main takeaway: you won’t know until you try (or ask) so don’t rob yourself of the opportunity. - Life doesn’t go as planned. Roll with it.
Anyone else plan to be married by 27, pregnant by 28 and own a house by 30? LOL same. In my experience, it’s better to let life fall apart and build it back up again than to force it in a direction simply because you feel like you should already be there. - Attitude is everything – don’t take things so personally.
I took a personal development course in January this year and there was an entire lesson on this. Look at the facts, and try not to make it mean something that it might not. You might feel like something has to do with you, but unless it’s directly told to you by the source, it could be a million other reasons. - Keep your inner circle small.
As we grow and evolve we expect our friendships to grow and evolve with us. If that doesn’t happen, you may need to reevaluate. They say you’re the sum of the 10 people closest to you, so make sure you’re spending time with the people who you really admire and can learn from. - You can’t change other people.
This is a little like the picking battles lesson, except that it can be harder and a lot more timely to identify. I’m the first person to understand that you can see a huge amount of potential in someone, but unless they see and want it for themselves, you can’t force them to become the person you hope they’ll one day be. - Be kind, always.
We’re all individually fighting our own wars and struggling with certain parts of our lives. Even if somebody seems to have it all together, they probably don’t – so take it easy and be kind. - Not everyone who’s been a part of your life is meant to stay in it.
I had someone who was a major part of my life completely disappear from it. It’s probably one of the hardest lessons to learn, but when you come to accept that not everyone is meant to stay, you’ll learn to stand on your own two feet and trust in your decisions. - Confidence is really all there is to being sexy.
Guess what! You don’t have to be perfect. Striving for perfection is an exhausting habit and a slippery slope, and the trick to being sexy is far more simple than you think. Be proud of who you are, learn to love your body and your features, and rock it with confidence. Other people will undeniably be drawn to that light. - You will be misunderstood, but you’ll need to let it go.
I can’t tell you how many times people have made assumptions about me that were wrong. I’m sure the exact same thing has happened to you. Instead of letting it get to you or feeling like you need to prove otherwise, learn to let it go. They’re the ones who missed out by jumping to conclusions. - It’s okay to take what you need. Just be sure to give it back when you are able.
It’s counterintuitive to good people, but sometimes you need to be selfish. When your mental or physical health is breaking down, make yourself a priority and do whatever it is you need to do in order to regain your strength. You might feel like you’re letting people down, but you’ll be able to give them so much more once you’re better. - Saying no can be just as empowering as saying yes.
Sometimes, even more empowering. When you respect yourself and what you stand for and know when to say no, other people will learn to have that same respect for you in return. - Invest in those who invest in you.
For me, time is a big indication of how important I am to someone. When people make an effort to be there, to show up, be on time and to follow through, it tells me that I’m a priority since they could be doing a million other things. This is an investment that I recognize (and it could be different for you), but I make sure to focus my energy on those who are also giving it back. - It absolutely could happen to you.
So often we see or hear about things happening to other people, and yet we try to beat the odds. Why? Because it would never happen to me. Truth: I had this exact thought go through my head when I decided to drive a motorbike in Thailand (which, yes, I had done before) and yet – just like so many other travelers out there – I crashed. Really hard. - You’re more beautiful as you are than whatever you’re trying to be.
Whatever it is you’re fighting against — wrinkles, thin lips, small boobs, thin hair, sparse eyelashes, etc — stop trying to change it with artificial things. When it’s obvious that you’re trying to change something it only draws more attention to it, and as per point number 18, insecurity is not sexy. - Trust your gut.
So. Many. Times. my gut has told me something and I wasn’t sure whether to listen. I nearly drove myself insane wondering if I was going crazy (and yes, I see the irony) but in the end I was spot on, every. Single. Time. Learn to trust your instincts. - When you quit something, you’re killing a possibility.
I used to do a lot of things and actually do them well — ballet, violin, volleyball, track and field and painting to name a few. While some of these things I can pick up again at a hobbyist level, I can’t help but wonder where one may have taken me if I’d actually stuck with it. Who knows? I could have been an Olympic athlete or a professional ballerina. - Words are important. Choose them wisely and stay true to them.
It’s easy to make up a white lie as an excuse or to make a promise to someone that we don’t intend to keep. But each time we counter on our word we devalue it, and without our word we really aren’t giving others much reason to listen. - I still have a lot to learn.
I may feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in my life, but I have to remember to stay humble and open minded because the reality is that I’m still ignorant on so many topics. I can’t possibly know it all, so it’s important to listen to others and be open minded to what they say. Who knows? I could have another 30 points by thirty.
